Often success is thought of as a salary, a title, how comfortably you live, or how well known you are.  Success is very often used as a synonym for financial stability.

During my undergrad program, success was easier to measure: it was a grade, a GPA, the comments from the professor.  Success was determined by the level of achievement in any given course or on any given assignment.  But once I got outside of that, I realized that success in my undergrad was not determined by the grade I received—the GPA I walked away with.  Success in this context could be measured by how much I truly learned, but also by how much I opened myself up to the course, and how much I allowed what I learned to change and shape me.  Whether I agreed or disagreed wasn’t the point, rather, it was the critical thought.

I have found that many courses have affected the way I view everything around me.  These courses have pushed me to consider statements that seem “every day” and consider their implications.  What I learned from these courses gave me the strength and knowledge to take a stand.  To confidently enter debates and know that I had the information to back my arguments. It means listening to what they have to say, too.  I also learned that not everyone is going to change their opinion, no matter how well developed my argument might be.  Success is being able to take these lessons into our lives and allow them to shift our perspective.

Success, to me, doesn’t reside in the final grade (though, of course, I worked for those grades) but, in retrospect, it resides in how open I was to the experience, into learning and being changed.  There were times through my undergrad where I was stressed out over where my GPA was standing.  I would crunch numbers to see what grade I needed to get in my remaining courses to get that “desired” GPA.  What I have found, now, is that those grades didn’t really matter, that GPA hasn’t affected how I find success now.

When we are in the midst of working toward something we can lose sight of what success means, we can become bogged down in the narrow definitions of what it means in that moment.  I think it is important to take a step back and really consider what is going to be the measure of success looking back, rather than in that moment.

Success is movement, moving forward, and not allowing yourself to stay stagnant.  Success is being open to learning new things and allowing yourself to be changed by them.

It is important to consider what success means to us, maybe it means being financially stable—regardless of the financial position. Maybe it means chasing something that seems improbable.  There is no wrong answer.  But this is something we must define for ourselves rather than try and fit into someone else’s definition of success.

When you are working on a degree or working freelance it can be hard to manage your time effectively.  In this sense, I don’t mean being able to get everything done in a timely manner but to prevent yourself from overbooking.

There are a limited number of hours in a day, and, as such, a limited number of tasks you are going to be able to complete.  Pulling late nights is acceptable for some days when it just needs to happen—when deadlines and due dates are looming—but this should not become a regular occurrence.

When I moved from working on my degree to working freelance I found it difficult to turn down hours or projects.  You just never know what might come up the next week or what opportunities this one project or chunk of hours might lead to.  But, if you overbook yourself, consistently say “yes” to the extra hours. without realistically considering them you can dig yourself into a hole.

There is a time and a place to put in the extra hours—to say yes—but once you have found your footing: you’re making progress and finding some stability, it is time to consider just how much more time you have to give away.  There needs to be some balance, some evenings off to recharge.

To manage my time I have been using an app to track my hours.  I also use this to create invoices at the end of the month, but I even track contracted hours (rather than billable hours) so I can make sure I am not going too far over the agreed upon “set” hours.  I also use it to understand where my time is going and how many hours in the week I might have to commit elsewhere.  Without this tracking, it would be difficult to know just where the time was going and where I might be able to add more.

Being mindful of your time is vital for you to understand what time you have left, where you need to tighten things up, and where you can expand.  But it is also vital to understand just how many hours you are putting in.  If you have put in an 11 hour day, then you know it is time to step away for a few hours.

By tracking my time, I am mindful of how many hours I am putting in and can use this information to prevent burn out.  I can understand, quickly, how many extra hours I have in a week to dedicate to a new project (or if I have any).  I am becoming more mindful of where my time is going, which projects I am overextending myself on, and which I should be putting more time into.

The time tracking app that I use is “HoursTracker Pro”, the only difference between the free version and the pro is the number of projects and days you can track.  But it is simple, effective, and it is easy to change the information displayed to see days/weeks/months for where the time is spent.  This small change has been extremely helpful for myself in minding my time effectively and managing my workload.

People like to label things, including ourselves.  We label ourselves as athletic, nerdy, outdoorsy, introvert, extrovert, etc., and if a situation or an experience might not fit within that definition we may believe it isn’t for us, because “we know who we are”.

You might have a pretty good idea if something just isn’t for you, even without trying.  For example, if you have a fear of heights, you probably don’t need to try skydiving to know it isn’t for you.

But we shouldn’t limit ourselves to our labels.  Just because we wanted something at one point, or were one way at one point, does not mean it always has to be that way.  If we were working hard toward a goal that we thought we wanted, it doesn’t mean that that goal can’t change.

Labels can be very limiting, whether positive or negative.  They are restrictive.  There is no reason you can’t change paths just because it does not fit in with who you thought you were.  It is good to grow, to change.  Who you are today likely isn’t the same person you were ten years ago, and ten years from now you might be a stranger to yourself.

It isn’t disloyal to allow this growth or to close off a chapter in your life.  You can decide, for example, that even though you once enjoyed sledding in the mountains that, when that no longer brought joy, it is okay to let that part of you go.  You experienced some incredible things, you can always enjoy those memories, acknowledge the fun that was had, and that it was just time to move on.

There is no sense in continuing to do something that once brought you pleasure when it no longer does—just because it once did and you decided to label yourself as such.  It does not mean you are turning your back on that part of who you are, you are just honoring the person you are today.

I have been flexible from the start of my degree through to now while I work my way into the publishing industry.  Being this flexible has allowed me to find new parts of myself, to find areas that interest me that I didn’t know before, and also emphasized areas I did not want to move toward (that I was pretty positive I wouldn’t enjoy before dipping into it).

I have to remind myself of this frequently—that just because you worked to get to one point does not mean you can’t take that next turn and move toward something else.  Every step has helped to get to this point, every minute worked has contributed to finding out more about what I want and where I want to go.

Don’t restrict yourself with labels, because, as easy as it is to put them on, it can be a massive challenge to remove them.

As strange as it feels now, looking back, there was a time I enjoyed math.  I enjoyed the certainty in it.  But at one point in my elementary school education, I was told that I was not good at math.  That I should not need to ask these questions and I should know the answer (paraphrasing, of course).  This was the sentiment, the narrative, that was given to me from an authority figure I trusted.  And, I accepted it.

I carried that narrative forward with me.  I was self-conscious and wouldn’t ask questions because I was told that the questions I was asking were not reasonable.  And, while the questions I had throughout the rest of my education could have been seen as reasonable, this was no longer my narrative, and math was just not my strong suit.  I needed to just get through it and move on.

I was not conscious of this as I worked through the rest of elementary and high school.  It, at this point, was just a fact that I was bad at math.  This is something that I have carried through university and beyond, as well.  It got to the point where I didn’t even want to try—don’t ask me.  I laughed at my old teachers who would say “you won’t be carrying a calculator around with you” because, of course, now almost everyone does.

It wasn’t until a few years ago that I realized where this narrative began.  Where I started to believe that I was not good at math, that I simply did not have the mind for it.  It was through this conversation with my mom that I realized when it was.  She’d recognized the change from that point and had tried to work me through that mindset, but I had believed that narrative.

It is time to change that narrative—far too many years later.  I don’t want to continue to believe the words that were carelessly thrown at me, planted in me.  I don’t want to limit myself because someone no longer wanted to answer my questions.  My perfectly valid questions, because even though I no longer remember what those questions were, they were presented in school, to the teacher, about a concept we were learning.  No student should have their question dismissed or feel like they should already know that.

While I came to realize the moment when things changed and felt saddened by this, I didn’t know what could be done to challenge it.  But when I find myself not wanting to take courses that interest me because they have a math element, Astronomy, for example, I think that is the point where things need to change.  Maybe my skills were not up to that level (I guarantee they were not) but there were other courses available that I could have taken to “catch up”.

I would encourage you to revisit your narratives.  The things you believe to be true for yourself.  Were these always true? Where did the narrative come from? Challenge these narratives and do not let them limit you, or stop you, from going after what you want.  Accept that you may need to start further back than you want, but start.

One thing that I realized over this break, though, is how much I appreciated being away from social media in general.  It has its function in society today, and I wouldn’t go so far as to drop away from it entirely, but instead of aimlessly scrolling while I drank my coffee I picked up a book instead, or I was present and watched the dogs stretch and groan and the pup try (in vain) to convince the other two to play.

This break from seeing all those other lives through social media was refreshing, and it is something I have decided to take on this year–not as a resolution—but as a change in habit: an intention.

Social media can be a massive time-suck; it can draw you in and lose chunks of time while getting nothing accomplished.  Not that you must always be productive, but you aren’t exactly relaxing while scrolling through, either.  At least, I know I don’t, not in a true way.  Not like taking the dogs outside to play or taking them on a walk will refresh me for the work to come.

There is a new app available on iPhones that tracks your screen time; I find it exceptionally telling that, as a whole, people spend far too much time scrolling by, seeing snippets of others lives, but making no real connection.

This isn’t big news, by any means, that we spend too much time looking at our phones.  It is a social epidemic that almost no one is innocent from.  But aside from this, when I do go on social media, I see a movement there, too, to take a step back.  People are encouraging others to stop scrolling too much, stop comparing so much.

While it is great to share (and one of the things I love using these for is keeping in touch with family that no longer lives close to me) it is important to keep those spaces a positive space.  To consider who you are following and what you are looking at.  If you are following someone and every time you see their post you don’t find pleasure in it, why are you following them?

I encourage you this year to take a step back from social media, to consider who you are following when you are on there and how the experience as a whole makes you feel –is it worth the chunk of time you are spending on it?

But there is also the self-care side of things.  The side where people are starting to recognize burn out and the need to stop before you overwork yourself.  It is vital to take these days off and recharge.  To take a few hours to yourself in the evening.

With two polarizing ideas, what do you listen to?  It can be stressful even if you aren’t aware that it is affecting you.  Do you hustle for that dream job 24/7 or do you take your weekends off? Do you put in the extra time, or are you draining yourself and you absolutely, without a doubt, must take those two hours in the evening to take yourself to a movie?

The answer is going to be different for everyone.  I found that for a long period of time, I hustled, I kept myself busy.  If I wasn’t actively working toward my goal I struggled to relax, I felt like I needed to be doing something.  And, in all honesty, I did need to hustle to get to where I am.  I needed to put in that time, to research, to apply for positions, to ask questions.  I needed to be doing everything I could to make progress.

Now that I have gained some ground I am easier on myself, I take time to exercise each day, whether that is in the morning or the evening.  I take some weekends off, sometimes only one day, sometimes both.  But something I heard the other day that really resonated with me is that this idea of self-care can become stressful in itself; which completely contradicts its purpose.

For example, if you told yourself that you would take an hour walk for self-care, but work is piling up, deadlines are looming, so you try to get through your work to make time for that hour walk; but, leading up to that you are grinding yourself down, stressing yourself out.  Then when (if) you get to that walk, you are already beyond burnt out.  It would have, in this case, made more sense to have your self-care by not going for that walk, instead acknowledging that it will be better for you to stay and just finish the work, and, when it is caught up, then go.

Sometimes the idea of self-care, of taking time for ourselves, ends up being a task on our to-do list that causes more stress.  So cut yourself some slack, it isn’t a bad thing if you have to skip that for the day, it doesn’t mean you aren’t working effectively.  Take the time when you can, self-care is important, but it should not be adding to your stress level, and you shouldn’t be feeling guilty about it.  Because, if you are, it is completely self-defeating.

[Another student choice, this article from late October was noted as an article that we can all relate to sometimes.  As every AU student eventually learns, burn out is real. Dealing with it ahead of time can make all the difference.]

Something that inevitably comes up this time of year is new years’ resolutions, or “what is yours this year?” I am asked this countless times, and the reality is I never make a resolution.

It isn’t that I disagree with them.  I think if making one helps your motivation to make a change then that is great.  But, for me, it feels too superficial.  I make changes throughout the year as I want to and need to.  I don’t necessarily have something that I want to change come this time of year and trying to force one feels disingenuous.

So, while some years I have decided to make changes around this time of year or set new goals for myself, these are not “new year’s resolutions” they are simply resolutions that happen to be taking place at the same time as the calendar change.

One year I had decided I should try making a New Year’s resolution, but, like so many others, because I had to create one that wasn’t really true to me, I never followed through with it.  My heart wasn’t in it.  If I’m not fully committed to it then I will find so many ways to procrastinate.  Which leads to feeling guilty for letting it slide, and self-criticism and annoyance because I didn’t follow through with something—something that I didn’t really want in the first place.

As you go into the holiday season it is a great time to reflect, to look at what you accomplished in the past year and consider what you hope to accomplish in the coming year.  To set new goals and to recharge over the break.  Maybe there is something you have been wanting to change, maybe it is a job, a habit, or a relationship –but make these changes for you when you’re ready, you don’t need to start as of January 1^st for them to be substantial.

So, this season, I encourage you to take the time to recharge.  Whether that is with family or just enjoying fewer work/school emails coming in.  Whether you celebrate the holiday or not, take some of this downtime and enjoy yourself.  Reflect on where you have come and where you want to go.  Catch up on some of those things you have been putting off, and don’t put pressure on yourself to make a big change come the first.

We can get stuck in routines, even find comfort in their consistencies.  We become comfortable and complacent in these daily routines that seem to be working for us.  And, while there isn’t anything wrong with having a routine, it can help us stay organized and motivated, sometimes we don’t realize just how stuck in it we are.

Sometimes it happens without conscious thought that we end up throwing our familiar days out the window.  Sometimes we do it with purpose to “shake things up”.

I found that I didn’t realize the rut I had been in for months.  The days came and went quickly as work became more work and responsibilities added up and, before I realized it, weeks blurred by with nothing too different happening.  Holidays are great for breaking up those days, to throw in some extra time to visit with family and friends from out of town, even those from in town that you just don’t make the time to visit.

We recently added a puppy to our family and this addition proved to me just how comfortable I got in my own routine, my own rut.  I worked in my office from morning until evening, generally unable to focus outside of the space.  I would take my grown dogs outside and play with them, run them, but only once work was done, because they were pretty content in my routine too: they loved to sleep on my office floor while I worked, only interrupting me when they wanted a pet or really needed to go outside.

With the addition of the puppy, who, for the sake of my books, is not allowed inside my office until he settles down, I have spent much less time working in there and a lot more time working in the living room or at the kitchen table.  I still sneak away to my office when I need to shut out the noise of life, but a lot less.  And I have learned that I can be productive working among some distractions.  I can make time here and there to take the dogs all outside to burn energy off without it completely disrupting my work flow.

I would argue that these small interruptions, the fresh air and the brief time away, recharges me when I get back in front of my computer.  That isn’t to say that the disruption to my routine went smoothly at first, there was an adjustment (and still is some days) but this disruption has reminded me to focus beyond work, to see beyond the to-do list and reinforced that it is okay to take these breaks in the day. The list will still be there and the work will still get done.

While I don’t recommend puppies as a method to disrupt a routine to everyone, for me it has been a very rewarding disruption.  It is teaching me patience, organization, and pushing me to get back in touch with the alpha side of me—the one that doesn’t take no, or running away, as an appropriate answer.

But, this time of year can be dangerous too.  It can be too easy to overspend.  To want to show love and gratitude through expense.  This should not be the way it is –you should not go into debt to show those you love that you love them through elaborate gifts.  They will know through the effort you put into them, through how you got or made them something.

One year when I was tight for cash I made a lot of my gifts.  The one I made for my Dad was five frozen pies.  The back story here is that he loves pie, hands down his favourite dessert, and one that doesn’t get made very often.  Usually just around the holidays.  So, I made five different kinds of pie, included the baking instructions on the ziplock bag and left the gift-wrapped box in the freezer until the morning of.  And he loved it.  It has probably been one of the best gifts I have given him.

When you are a student, or starting a new career, it can be hard to get ahead, and sometimes the holiday season seems to come at inopportune times, but there is no reason you can’t enjoy the season.  There is too much pressure these days to put a lot of money into gifts.  And in recent years I have been able to go a bit more elaborate than five frozen pies in a box.  But no year is more special than the next because of what the gift is.

It is important to consider what the holidays mean to you, maybe you dislike every aspect and do not celebrate.  That is great if that is what you want to do.

For me, it is coming together with family: my brother comes home; we visit without distractions of technology; we make a way too large dinner and eat way too much of it; the dogs get fed some turkey because they’re part of the family too; and we just enjoy each other’s company.  The holidays don’t need the pressure that seems to be part of them in recent years.  Just take a step back and reconsider what really matters this season. And do not overextend yourself!  Honestly, your family wouldn’t want you to.

Either way, certain school and work responsibilities slow down and give a little more downtime, you know you are not going to get that assignment back and if you send one in it isn’t going to be marked for a couple weeks.  Personally, I know that during this time there will be less work coming in that needs to go out because everyone is winding down for a few weeks.

I am determined this year to take more time away, to work on some personal projects, and spend time training and working with the puppy and getting him more integrated into the pack.  I want to visit more with friends and family.  While I will still be using this time to catch up on various work-related things it isn’t going to be at the forefront for me.

It is so important for our well-being to take advantage of these times and allow ourselves to disconnect a bit from work and school, to reconnect with our lives outside of all that.

With Athabasca University’s set up, I found that I was always taking a course, I ended up in a routine where I would stagger my start dates but always had multiple courses on the go.  For the entirety of my degree.  I didn’t take a break.  And while I loved this setup and the flexibility that it allowed me it was also too easy to stay buried in that world and to never “come up for air”.

I am finding that now, too.  I always have work I can be doing—work I should be doing.  So it can be hard to step away, and while I have been trying to be better about taking at least one day on the weekend, I also find these days are useful in getting caught up or getting ‘ahead’.  For some weekends this is fine, it gives a feeling or organization and calm moving into the next week, a “fresh start” so to speak.  But, to work through every weekend is only going to lead to burn out.  I have been feeling myself inching towards that, especially after the busy fall season.

When I stopped to consider this and acknowledge it, it struck me that so many times while doing my degree I would push through this feeling.  I would push it down and ignore it.  Which is never a healthy thing to do.

In the end, I have decided that I am going to allow myself some time away from the screen.  I will still be working on specific things that this time will be useful for, but I am going to say “yes” to getting away more, “yes” to adventure and enjoy this time when I can get out, guilt-free, and recharge myself.