Dear Sandra,

P.M in Windsor, Ontario

Dear P.M,

First and foremost when it comes to writing children’s books you need a vivid imagination, a passion and talent for writing and a pretty good ego to sustain all the “no’s” you are likely to receive before your first “yes”.

Harry Potter is a wonderfully written novel for youth and adults alike, Ms. Rowling herself said “The idea that we could have a child who escapes from the confines of the adult world and goes somewhere where he has power, bother literally and metaphorically, really appealed to me” (http://www.scholastic.com/harrypotter/author/).

As a divorced mother with a young child on social assistance, J.K Rowling wrote the first book in the series, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s (or Philosopher’s) Stone, at a café while her young daughter napped. This former teacher turned thoughts in her imagination into a multi-award winning novel that captures the hearts and minds of children and adults all over the world.

So, how do you become an award-winning novelist whose books are turned into multi-million dollar movies? Well first you have to write, and write GOOD!

There are many websites to help you to break into the children’s literary market after that:

Canadian Authors Association – http://www.canauthors.org/;
Canadian Society of Children’s Authors, Illustrators and Performers (famed children’s novelist Robert Munsch is a member) – http://www.canscaip.org/;
Places for Writers offers an extensive list of funding opportunities as well as information on writing – http://www.placesforwriters.com/funding.html;
Page By Page: Creating a Children’s Book – http://www.nlc-bnc.ca/3/2/index-e.html.

There are also numerous books on writing and publishing children’s literature to buy on- line or at your local bookstore or to borrow at your local library. For a little background information, Athabasca University offers an informative look at Children’s Literature through the years in ENGL 305, Literature For Children (http://www.athabascau.ca/html/syllabi/engl/engl305.htm).

If you are motivated to write, write – right now! Don’t wait and put it aside, saying you’ll do it when the kids are gone, or when you retire, if you really have the itch, scratch it!

Sandra

I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU! TELL ME YOUR TROUBLES. YOUR CONFIDENTIALITY IS ASSURED.

This column is for entertainment only. Sandra is not a professional counsellor, but is an AU student who would like to give personal advice about school and life to her peers. Please forward your questions to Sandra care of smoore@ausu.org

Dear Sandra,

Confused in Alberta

Dear Confused,

As an upcoming university graduate, a variety of options will exist for you. However, your degree won’t necessarily tell you what you should do; only you can do that. Going back to work will give you a break from the perils of studying, researching, and writing as well as provide you with some experience in your related field whereas finishing your master’s degree will be very useful to your career plan and will not require you to readjust to school after a hiatus : both options are appealing.

Either one of your choices will involve more decisions; researching careers and employers or schools, conducting a job search or filling out graduate applications. Life and career planning are on-going processes. Nearly 60% of American workers would investigate their career choices more thoroughly than they did initially if they could plan their working lives over (Gladding, 2000).

You need to decide what is right for you at this moment with a self-assessment. What are your goals and needs? Do you want to be settled in your career in five years, ten years? Do you need to work right now to catch up financially? Do you need a Master’s degree for what you want to do?

Check out the government of Alberta’s career profile section http://www.alis.gov.ab.ca/occinfo. Here you can find the educational requirement of various careers along with pays scales.

It ultimately stems down to what you want to do at this time in your life. Make a pros and cons list for both returning to school and entering the workforce. Be honest with your lists and your true choice should be evident.

Sandra

Reference:
Gladding, S.T. 2000. Counseling: A Comprehensive Profession 4th Edition. Upper Saddle River: Prentice-Hall Inc.

I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU! TELL ME YOUR TROUBLES. YOUR CONFIDENTIALITY IS ASSURED.

This column is for entertainment only. Sandra is not a professional counsellor, but is an AU student who would like to give personal advice about school and life to her peers. Please forward your questions to Sandra care of smoore@ausu.org

Dear Sandra,

Rookie Student in Ontario

Dear Rookie,

Every year at convocation the main statement I hear students make is “I’m amazed at the size of the university considering few students physically attend classes here!” AU is similar to any other university; with a cafeteria, an extensive library, science and computer labs and throngs of offices. The only thing missing is hoards of students cluttering the halls, shuffling in and out of classrooms. On a regular working day at AU, walking the sparsely populated halls that echo your footsteps can be quite a lonely experience.
Athabasca University is located in the small town of Athabasca, Alberta which is approximately an hour and a half drive from Edmonton. Isolated by a thick forest of pine trees, Athabasca is the idealization of a small town to escape to for a simpler life untouched by the rapid expansion overtaking bigger centers. AU Vice-President Judith Hughes once said in a speech at the 2003 National Forum on Public Education that upon her arrival at AU in the 1980’s she went to a local store to hook up her telephone. Once the formalities of hooking up her telephone were finished, she asked the clerk for a phone book to which he inquired “What do you need one for, everyone knows each other here.” For more info on the town, visit the town of Athabasca website at http://www.town.athabasca.ab.ca/

Set on a hilltop above the majestic Athabasca River overlooking Athabasca is the physical structure of AU. Most of AU’s 900 staff members occupy office space in Athabasca, but AU has offices in Edmonton and Calgary, AB as well. At the main entrance of the building is a cement pond which serves as a backdrop for family photos after convocation ceremonies. Upon entering the university’s reception area, through a glassed entry way, one is transformed back to the early 80’s décor of brick and deep chocolate brown, interwoven with traces of orange and yellow. AU has an on-line tour of the university and its departments at http://www.athabascau.ca/tour/index.html.

I fully understand your need to visualize AU. Sometimes without that mental picture in your head, your studies can seem unreal or unimportant. Ramona DeRose said in her address as the AU Undergraduate Speaker for Convocation 2003,

“For many of us, this is the first time we’ve connected with other students, other than in the dreaded exam rooms, and the first time we’ve met our tutors face-to-face. Distance learning can at times be an isolating experience. You are in a classroom of one, responsible for setting your own deadlines, and ever tempted by the proximity of distractions. We have had to be disciplined, and committed to our own learning. Our education has taken place not in a lecture hall, but on the telephone and over the Internet. At times, the distance learner feels like the only student to agonize over a particularly difficult concept, the only one overwhelmed with term papers, projects, and telephone quizzes. I am comforted to see just how many students have shared those experiences with me. I admit I traveled to convocation not only to receive my degree, but to confirm that Athabasca University actually exists!” (Check out Ramona’s full address at
http://www.ausu.org/graduation/index.php#address)

Yes, Rookie Student in Ontario, there is an AU.

Sandra

I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU! TELL ME YOUR TROUBLES. YOUR CONFIDENTIALITY IS ASSURED.

This column is for entertainment only. Sandra is not a professional counsellor, but is an AU student who would like to give personal advice about school and life to her peers. Please forward your questions to Sandra care of smoore@ausu.org

Dear Sandra,

Loser Schmoozer in the US

Dear Loser,

I can almost guarantee you that most people dread situations like this, especially when their husband’s reputation could be on the line.

Here’s some advice for surviving the day:

One at a Time – focus first on socializing with one person. Once you’ve found one friend you can navigate and mingle together.

Get Personal – forget small talk about the weather, people love to talk about themselves ask questions. For example, “What department are you in?” “What does your job entail?” Even in different situations, getting people to talk about what they are interested in or knowledgeable in is a great conversation starter and you might even learn something!

Scope out the Extremes – look for people who are either having a great time or a miserable time. To those wallflowers you’ll come off as a sincere person and to the talkative types you won’t have to carry the conversation.

Don’t be a Fake – don’t pretend to be something that you aren’t just to fit in. If you don’t understand something, don’t be afraid to question it. You are not required to like each and every person you meet.

You can’t turn an introvert into an extrovert, but I hope this helps to at least make the day remotely interesting, fun and stress-free! Have a great time!

Sandra

I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU! TELL ME YOUR TROUBLES. YOUR CONFIDENTIALITY IS ASSURED.

This column is for entertainment only. Sandra is not a professional counsellor, but is an AU student who would like to give personal advice about school and life to her peers. Please forward your questions to Sandra care of smoore@ausu.org

Dear Sandra,

Looking for Extra Cash in SK

Dear Looking,

Yes, those advertisements sound promising don’t they? I looked through a few different magazines and my local newspaper to see advertisements enticing people to work at home assembling products (earrings, buttons, crafts), reading manuscripts or putting together mailing packages earning $25 per hour to $2500 weekly! That’s a lot of money just for doing low skill jobs at home that could easily be done by minimum wage workers or interns. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

That’s not to say that there are not legitimate companies out there looking for stay at home workers. Keep a few things in mind when you reply to these advertisements that are a constant in the help wanted sections of newspapers, magazines, laundry mat bulletin boards and even telephone poles along the highway.

1. If the company asks you to send them a non-refundable deposit to prove that you are a serious at home worker you should never send them money. When you apply for regular jobs do you give a non-refundable deposit? These types of companies are only looking for people to open up their cheque-books, collecting fees from hundreds of people and moving on to another scam.

2. A lot of these companies advertise for stuffing envelopes or stapling booklets but really all they are doing is disguising elaborate pyramid schemes. For those of you who don’t know how a pyramid scheme works, it basically can be summed up as; the originator of the scam (the top of the pyramid) gets richer by scamming people who in turn are promised to get richer by scamming those below them.

3. Read between the lines. Why would companies pay people astronomical amounts to stuff envelopes or read manuscripts when they have interns to do it? These companies advertise for people to read manuscripts claiming they can earn up to$100-$500 just for reading a book, but in reality it is only a company selling a book or list to those who reply to the ad, listing addresses of publishing companies which are incorrect or were just pulled from the phonebook or internet without the companies’ approval.

4. Think of the times. Do you really believe that you can make $1000 a week making bead earrings or “dough darlings”? Who buys these products? These craft companies state that the products you make must adhere to strict manufacturing guidelines; they have no obligation to pay you for your finished product if the product does not meet their requirements. (Authors’ Note: I have made beaded earrings with my 7-year old daughters’ bead kit, it is not easy, believe me!)

So, how do you find legitimate companies offering at home employment?

1. Check with your local Better Business Bureau (or the BBB where the company is based) to see if there have been any complaints about the company in question.

2. Check references. Ask the company for contact information on 10-15 former or present participants. Contact as many as you can to get an accurate picture of the company.

3. Ask questions and get the answers in writing. What will I be required to do? What standards must my work meet? Are there any costs (membership fees, supplies or equipment costs)? Do I need to find my own customers? When, how much and by whom will I be paid?

Just keep your eyes, ears and mind open when applying for these types of jobs. Be on your guard and remember people who earn ten grand a month usually have extensive training and education and their services or products justify their income, they are rarely envelope stuffers or beaded earring makers.

Sandra

I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU! TELL ME YOUR TROUBLES. YOUR CONFIDENTIALITY IS ASSURED.

This column is for entertainment only. Sandra is not a professional counsellor, but is an AU student who would like to give personal advice about school and life to her peers. Please forward your questions to Sandra care of smoore@ausu.org

Dear Sandra,

Afraid of her own children in Ontario

Dear Afraid,

Every parent dreads summer holidays. Either you have to have them home 24 hours a day for two months listening constantly to “I’m bored” or “He’s bugging me” OR you have to find somewhere for them to go.

I highly recommend camp. For a whole week a group of teenagers entertain your child with fun and educational activities, and the bonus is they are gone that whole week!! The down part is that camp usually only lasts a week. There are such a variety of camps now; when I was younger the only option was church camp. My family was not religious but we all went to the Baptist camp and the Lutheran camp. Now depending on where you live you can attend everything from adventure camps to Harry Potter camps. If your children, or you for that matter, are not ready to spend a week apart with people they hardly know, day camp is another option. YMCA’s, gymnastic organizations, libraries, sports organizations, music clubs, zoos, museums and churches put on week long day camps similar to your regular 8 hour school day filled with interesting activities and tons of other kids for your children to socialize with. A downfall to any type of camp is they usually cost money, anywhere from $5 a week to $150 a week. If cost is an issue, ask if they offer subsidies.

Your children (and you) probably won’t be so lucky as to get to spend every week of their summer in a fun day camp, so when they are at home try some of these ideas:

1. Have them put on a play. Encourage them to recruit the neighbourhood kids to participate. Have them write the script, make the costumes, build the props, cast the actors and finally prepare for the performance. There will probably be a couple arguments you’ll have to break yourself away from your books to mediate, but the kids will learn to work together and will be sooo proud of their final performance. Have all the children invite their families and neighbours to attend the play.

2. Christmas in July. To ease up on the stress of December, start shopping and making crafts now. When the kids are complaining of boredom, give them some craft materials and put them to work. To work on handwriting skills have them address the envelopes for your Christmas cards and labels for the gifts. Of course in order to do this you need to be a cheap person like me who stocks up on Christmas items AFTER Christmas when they go on sale. You could even give them authority to plan a half-way to Christmas party, where little trinkets from the dollar store are exchanged and you have turkey sandwiches.

3. Journaling. After helping your child study all year for weekly spelling tests, keep their spelling skills sharp by doing family journals. Buy or make journals for the family and sit down and do entries in them together. These also turn out to be great keepsakes and the perfect way for a child to remember what they did all summer when teachers ask them that in September.

4. Have them become entrepreneurs. Who doesn’t remember selling Kool-aid on their corner or in their drive way as a kid? Kids don’t have to sell just Kool-aid; they can make up candy bags, small crafts or even an art show in their back yard for family, friends and neighbours. Children learn counting skills and the value of money.

5. Be Crazy. Give them crazy ideas that make them ask “Are you sure you are ok with us doing that”? Take some tempera paint and let them cover your sidewalk or driveway with foot prints, give them instructions for crazy science experiments (now is the time to let them get messy when it’s warm enough for the hose to clean them off). Let them paint old tables or chairs anyway they want or tye-dye old shirts or towels.

6. Make sure you have a sprinkler and a pool, or even better, a slip and slide. These are inexpensive items that can keep kids busy for hours. I’m amazed at how many times my 7 year old daughter and friends can run through our sprinkler. It sometimes feels like I’m watching dogs chase their tails.

Just remember summer with the kids is like childbirth, you just need to keep telling yourself that it has to end sometime. Here’s hoping you have a peaceful summer!

Sandra

I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU! TELL ME YOUR TROUBLES. YOUR CONFIDENTIALITY IS ASSURED.

This column is for entertainment only. Sandra is not a professional counsellor, but is an AU student who would like to give personal advice about school and life to her peers. Please forward your questions to Sandra care of smoore@ausu.org

Dear Sandra,

Upset in Ontario

Dear Upset,

As kids we called it tattling, in the grown-up work world we call it whistle-blowing. It is easy to do the whistle-blowing if you are asked or forced to perform unethical acts yourself, but when it comes to blowing the whistle on someone else doing them, it can get to be pretty nasty.

Ethics are based on generally accepted principles of right and wrong. Teaching ethics in universities and colleges has become big business, it’s just too bad it’s not a required course. Most companies and professional organizations have specific ethical codes that employees should adhere to; this way an employee has a better sense of knowing what exactly upper management considers ethical and unethical. If an act that is deemed as unethical derives from an established code of ethics, there is more support from both the company and your co-workers than if it is simply derived from a personal ethical sense.

On the flip side, even though ethical codes and standards are in place stating that employees should behave in a particular way, enforcing these codes and standards is extremely difficult. Certain codes are also up for interpretation; for example a company may promote honesty in their code of ethics, but what is their definition of honesty? It all comes down to one’s personal values. No one is 100% honest, we all tell little white lies (e.g. telling a friend you can’t attend their Tupperware party because you are busy that day, when you are not just to spare their feelings), but each one of us differs as to where the line is drawn between a white lie and full-fledged dishonesty.

So what are your choices?

Do nothing. Maybe the problem will just go away. You’d better hope that no one else knows that you know he is being unethical, because if his misdeeds ever come out along with the fact that you knew all about it, you’ll most likely be in the same boat as your manager – the unemployment boat. If he is getting away with it now, do you really believe his behavior will change? Probably not, meaning you are eventually going to get fed up and quit and the circle will continue with some other poor chump taking your place wondering if they should blow the whistle.

Tell your manager that you know what he is doing is wrong and ask him to stop. I’d pack your bags on this one first as you’ll probably have something blamed on you the next day resulting in your dismissal. If you don’t get fired immediately your work environment will be about as painful as childbirth or gallstones. If you confront someone who is being “bad” they will go out of their way to discredit you before you make your knowledge of them public. He may not try to discredit you immediately; instead he’ll spend weeks or months preparing his case against you. He may resort to questioning other employees and even customers about things you have done or said, probably amplifying the actual incidence 10 times to discredit you. Maybe, you’ll open his eyes and he’ll realize what he is doing is wrong and he’ll stop, but I wouldn’t bet on it.

Go straight to the top boss. This will probably work as your manager is misspending your boss’s money; try to have some physical proof to present to your boss rather than just hearsay. However, what about those employees back at your level that may have been loyal to your manager. He may not have treated every employee like dirt. Once he finds out you “told” on him, his anger will probably propel him to take you down with him; make sure there are NO skeletons in your closet for the reasons I’ve stated above. On the other hand if he is treating employees like dirt, you may gain some respect by getting rid of him. Your main boss, if you handle the situation with the utmost professionalism, may even give you a raise or promotion OR, he could see you as a trouble maker, it’s hard to say.

Be Anonymous. Don’t expect an “anonymous” tip to result in the dismissal of your manager, I’m sure the FBI gets thousands of “anonymous” tips every day from disgruntled wives, co-workers and just plain crazy people convinced that Satan lives next door and is planning to take over the world. Face it, there’s no credibility in an anonymous tip.

Go External. Call up the newspaper or the labor board to “expose” your manager. If you choose this option, it is highly recommended that you resign first as you are unavoidably going to get fired if you have not tried to deal with the matter internally first.

Take into consideration how your decision will affect others in your personal circle (your family, friends, and co-workers), how it will affect the company in general and the people the company serves, and how it could affect your career. For each of those questions ask yourself what is the worst that could happen and the probability of it happening. Of the options presented above, one will just seem natural to you. A friend once told me that your initial reaction to a decision or question is usually the one your conscience is begging you to go with. I’ve given you some options and the repercussions involved and now it’s up to you to decide how to proceed.

I realize that I presented options to you that may not seem too desirable, but in reality we are a society that frowns upon whistle-blowers that is why it is important to really think about how you plan to proceed. Good luck!

Sandra

I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU! TELL ME YOUR TROUBLES. YOUR CONFIDENTIALITY IS ASSURED.

This column is for entertainment only. Sandra is not a professional counsellor, but is an AU student who would like to give personal advice about school and life to her peers. Please forward your questions to Sandra care of smoore@ausu.org

Hey Readers! Here’s the other gardening question I promised you last week!

Dear Sandra,

No Green Thumb in Saskatchewan

Dear No Green Thumb,

Last year my husband and I tried in vain to plant a garden and it was a beauty, until we “forgot” about it for a week or two and returned to find it looking like a miniature forest!

Weeds are pretty much invincible. It takes a lot of work and patience to keep them to a minimum. Unfortunately, if you are like us and live next door to a breeding ground for weeds (hope my neighbours read this!) you are going to have to work overtime to defeat those things.

The thing with weeds is that they can be dormant for years and germinate when the soil is cultivated or fertilized – which means disturbing the soil wakes them up. You are going to have to start by getting rid of them somehow, whether it is pulling them all by hand (here’s where you hope you have misbehaving kids to punish) or using long or short handled hoes or claws. Don’t just mow them down; it’s the entire plant, root and all, that you need to get rid of.

Once you have a semi-weed-free area, put a layer of mulch or black weed plastic (available at hardware, department and gardening stores) on the ground around bushes, shrubs, plants and walkways. This will inhibit the growth of the weeds. Around your plants be very attentive in pulling weeds while they are still small. If you want to have a garden, might I suggest box gardening? Above ground boxes are built with cement or mulch walkways alongside to help alleviate weeds and keep gardens looking organized.

To save yourself some time, be vigilant after your harvest and do a thorough clean-sweep of your garden.

Sandra

I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU! TELL ME YOUR TROUBLES. YOUR CONFIDENTIALITY IS ASSURED.

This column is for entertainment only. Sandra is not a professional counsellor, but is an AU student who would like to give personal advice about school and life to her peers. Please forward your questions to Sandra care of smoore@ausu.org

Confused in Saskatoon

Dear Confused,

Relationships are never easy. The torrent of emotions we experience when we are in one can change our perceptions of it daily. One day you believe you’ve found your prince charming and the next day he’s turned into a frog. Life is full of chances and risks and only you can decide whether this man is the one for you or not.

To help you decide, ask yourself these questions:

1. Has anyone ever loved you as much as he does? Love is a powerful emotion that can help alleviate some of his flaws. If his love is intense and he shows it by making you feel special, isn’t that more important than his idiosyncrasies or your perception of how love should be?
2. If you met him today, would you fall for him? Is he still the kind of man you are looking for? Are you still physically, emotionally and intellectually attracted to him?
3. How would you feel not interacting with him every day? If he is your best friend as well as your partner, losing him as a sounding board will be tough. Can you imagine day to day life without him?
4. Is he capable of changing? If something is bothering you about him, give him the chance to change. You’d be surprised how quickly changes can come about when love is on the line.
5. Will you be better off without him in your life? Use a pro and con list (in your head or on paper) and see if losing him is really a gain to you.

Of course the grass could be greener, but what if it’s not? Everyone wonders if they are with the right person at one time or another, but what is the definition of the right person? Does everyone really have someone out there who is a perfect match, if so what defines a perfect match? The jury will always be out to lunch on these age-old questions. Do what you feel is right.

Sandra

I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU! TELL ME YOUR TROUBLES. YOUR CONFIDENTIALITY IS ASSURED.

This column is for entertainment only. Sandra is not a professional counsellor, but is an AU student who would like to give personal advice about school and life to her peers. Please forward your questions to Sandra care of smoore@ausu.org