Dear Barb:
I lost my job recently, so decided I’d go back to school. I picked AU because I didn’t have to wait until September to begin my semester. Since I started, my sex life with my wife has dropped to like once every couple months or so. You’d think that with me being home more it would be the opposite. I get that there’s more stress now because of the money situation, but I figured I would be more helpful to my wife by sharing the chores with her (when I’m not studying or job hunting). If anything, though, I seem to annoy her. You’re a woman, any ideas?
Anonymous
Hi there:
My first response would be stress, but you already mentioned that. Have you and your wife discussed your feelings with each other? Perhaps there is something else bothering her, or maybe she simply needs reassurance from you that everything will work out. It’s hard for a woman to think about intimacy when she is worried about her livelihood. You don’t mention whether you have children, if you do I’m sure that would be a concern to you both. When you try to help with the chores, your wife may feel annoyed because she has her routine and her own way of doing things. Take the time to reassure your wife and be patient. Eventually everything will work out and she will be more receptive to you.
Thanks for your question, hope this helps.
Dear Barb:
I’m in my first year of university and living in residence. I have two roommates, who are also first year students. We are all having difficulty adjusting to life away from home. Do you have any suggestions that would help us to feel more comfortable and more a part of campus life.
Thanks, Nicole.
Hi Nicole:
First year university can be a big adjustment, as for many students it is their first attempt at living on their own. There are various things you can do to make this an enjoyable and rewarding experience. It is important that you and your roommates respect each other’s time and space as far as studying, personal time, and individual space.
For you to fully integrate into campus life you need to join clubs and organizations that interest you. Most campuses have quite an assortment of activities including sports and musical groups, just to name a few. Another way to meet people and help others is to do some volunteer work. If possible focus on the area of your future career path. Most importantly, you need to take care of yourself by choosing healthy food, and getting enough sleep and physical activity. Don’t try to do everything, though, you need down time as well. Remember no one will be regulating your activities; you are your own master now.
Enjoy the first step on your life’s journey!
Email your questions to voice@voicemagazine.org. Some submissions may be edited for length or to protect confidentiality; your real name and location will never be printed. This column is for entertainment only. The author is not a professional counsellor and this column is not intended to take the place of professional advice.
